Since the officer at my son’s swearing-in ceremony said I’m now part of the military culture, I figure it’s time to get into the lingo. You know, the ooh rahs and all that battalion business. There are new names to learn for things like beds (racks), duffle bags (sea bags) and my personal favorite – liberty (leave time).

The thing that’s giving me the most trouble, though, is interpreting the acronyms. It took me three weeks and the help of an online resource to figure out MCMAP stood for Marine Corps Marshal Arts Program. How’s a regular mom like me supposed to interpret something like that? All I see is “map” in the mix, and I’m thinking he’s studying geography.

All this abbreviating got me thinking about some acronyms with meaning to civilians – ones in my own peer bracket. I’m sure there are others my age who could quickly figure out an initialism like, say, IHH — “I’m hot, Honey.”

Let me quickly clarify that the word “hot,” in this particular instance, is in no way related to the word “hot” as used by the younger generation. In IHH terms, “hot” is the regular old temperature hot, not a measure of attractiveness, and it’s usually stated with some degree of urgency by women of a more mature standing. Still confused? Not surprising, since IHH is one of those acronyms with a subtle, understated meaning, as in “if you don’t turn the air conditioner down right now I’m going to stick my head in the freezer, and just wait and see what that does to the electrical bill this month, Honey.” (Note to Husband: or so I hear.)

The same couples who are familiar with IHH are usually well-acquainted with another popular acronym – ENS. ENS (Empty Nest Syndrome) needs little explanation, but many in the midst of this stage of life find themselves totally unprepared for the effects of the closely-related EBS (Empty Bedroom Syndrome). EBS is the emotional condition that flares up when you pass by the unslept-in bed of a child who has moved out and on to his/her own new stage of life. We might add that his/her new stage of life is characterized by its own set of acronyms, including the commonly-acknowledged WIFIEHP (Wow, I Forgot I Even Have Parents) pattern of behavior.

But I must stick to our own age-group focus.

There’s the MLC (Mid-Life Crisis), which is usually convertible, and CDR (Computer Dementia Regret), which happens after you accidentally delete 357 files.

There’s the politely-correct HHAP (He’s Having A Procedure) phrase and the impolitely-correct TTCA (Time To Color Again) one. There’s the WEIGH (Watchful Eating Isn’t Gonna Help) mindset, telling you to put away the turkey bacon already, and the WWIT (What Was I Thinking) struggle when you do.

Then finally, there’s IGCID (Inter-Generational Communication Issue Disorder). Not everyone, mind you, struggles with IGCID. I recently overheard my mother tell my son that she hoped Tiger Woods had “gotten his mojo back”, and he understood exactly what she was saying. I have no idea what mojo is, which means my IGCID is multi-generational and is more serious than most.

Which perhaps explains my other communication issues, including the one with military acronyms.  That’s okay, though. I’m trying. We mid-lifers understand that learning is a lifelong pursuit, and as writer Mike Bellah says, “STBBITM.”

Sometimes the best begins in the middle.

 

Wesson resident Kim Henderson is a freelance writer who writes for The Daily Leader. Contact her at kimhenderson319@gmail.com.