FOR SALE: 1974 BMW Bavaria 3.0S 4-door sedan;driven only on weekends from New York City to Peapack-Gladstone,N.J., so very rich woman could go fox hunting; $47,600; serious(very serious) inquiries only.

FOR SALE: 1974 BMW Bavaria 3.0S 4-door sedan;driven only on weekends from New York City to Peapack-Gladstone,N.J., so very rich woman could go fox hunting; $47,600; serious(very serious) inquiries only.

Done your Christmas shopping yet? If you’ve got somehard-to-buy-for folks on your list, eBay, the online auction house,could be the answer to your holiday needs.

Although the description doesn’t read like the one above, a BMWonce owned by the late Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is up for sale.Yes, if you, dear reader, can beat the current high bid of $47,600,your butt can grace the same tan leather seat once graced by JackieO’s skinny rear end.

Need some more details?

The car is the original color, Amazonasgrun green, althoughJackie did have it repainted once in the 18 years she owned it. Theodometer now reads 65,896 miles, but the engine was rebuilt at40,000 miles after it overheated in New York City on FDR Drive.Jackie sold the car to a Peapack neighbor in 1992.

Need proof, Doubting Thomas, that the car was ever actuallydriven by Jackie O? Well, included in the deal are six framedphotos of her behind the wheel. There’s even a photo of Jackiegetting a ticket for being double-parked on Fifth Avenue.

You also get the original title, which includes a rare autographby Mrs. Onasiss since she signed and dated it at the time of thesale.

You know what? P.T. Barnum had us pegged just right.

NEW STATE MOTTO

I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I was toldyesterday that the Florida Legislature is considering changing thatstate’s motto from “The Sunshine State” to “Florida: Home ofElecticle Dysfunction.”

WORDS OF WISDOM

I received an email this week entitled “At This Time We NeedWisdom — Great Wisdom.” While I’m not sure if “this time” is inreference to the holiday shopping frenzy or the Florida electionfiasco, I thought some of the advice was worth sharing.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs builtthe ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if youjust sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They shouldboth be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. Apessimist fears that this is true.

There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn’t getworse every year.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

Dijon vu — the same mustard as before.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

A day without sunshine is like night.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobodybothers to ask you the questions.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thingat the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at thetempting moment.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells liveforever.

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at 40, it also begins to show. Even more at60.

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow oldbecause you stopped laughing.

I believe that. Have a good weekend.

Write to Nanette Laster at P.O. Box 551, Brookhaven,Miss. 39602, send faxes to 833-6714, or e-mail tonlaster@telepak.net. She’d love to hear from you.