Cosplay: 1 (noun) the practice of dressing up as a character from a movie, book or video game; 2 (geek) the reason why some geeks are completely broke and their house looks like a Hobby Lobby exploded

Saturday is the New Orleans ComicCon and yes, I will be there in costume, but before you start thinking about me in a Sailor Moon outfit (no.), let me explain that I am always in costume.

Most cosplayers are very passionate about their fandoms. So much so that they enjoy spending countless hours and dollars sewing, bending, melting, gluing, welding and wiring their costumes to best resemble their favorite fictional characters. I’m pretty sure less effort went into building the space shuttle.

Then there’s me.

Remember the bad guy in Toy Story 2, Al from Al’s Toy Barn? I kinda look like him.

Ok, that’s a bit of an understatement. Saying I kinda look like him is like saying the sun is kinda warm. I look a LOT like him. I’ve had kids kick me in the shins for “stealing Woody,” and I wasn’t even at a convention nor in costume!

One year, on a whim and a joke, I entered a national internet cosplay competition against thousands of other competitors. I PLACED eighth. Everyone was so happy.

Some competitors, not many but some, complained that I had not spent enough time or money on my creation, and so I wasn’t truly cosplaying and should not be allowed to enter.

RIDICULOUS!

On top of the $20 for the red shirt and Woody toy I bought at Walmart, it took 37 years and countless trips to McDonald’s to pull off this look. I doubt anyone can

match that level of dedication.

But at least they can take their costumes off.

Class dismissed.