Where in the world is the septic tank?

Although being widowed is an emotional time, Becky Vaughn-Furlow, who has been widowed twice, said often the woman is often struck by a variety of new obstacles to face. They need help figuring out chores like cutting the water off or finding the septic tank. They must learn to make decisions on their own and handle the household business.

Vaughn-Furlow said it can be difficult to adjust to a new social status.

“You feel very ostracized in some cases,” she said.

Vaughan-Furlow said society tends to be couple-centered and most social groups tend to be made up of couples. When the husband dies, the widow can start to feel like a fifth wheel.

But that’s where the Widows Support Group comes in. Although it can never replace the lost loved one, the group is able to help fill in some of the gaps through friendship and fellowship, but just as importantly by teaching skills.

Vaughan-Furlow said the group will bring in speakers to discuss investments or self-defense. They share materials about scams and home maintenance.

Vaughn-Furlow, who is the facilitator, said the group can be anything the members want.

The Widows Support Group has been meeting for over a year, but they have recently decided to strive to expand membership by meeting at the Jimmy Furlow Senior Citizen Center. Vaughn-Furlow said they felt new members would be more comfortable if the meetings were not held at a stranger’s home.

The first meeting will be Aug. 13 at 5 p.m., and they will continue to meet at the senior center the second Thursday of the month. Vaughn-Furlow said the first meeting will be mostly centered on figuring out what members want and need in terms of speakers and programs.

The most important aspect of the program is to serve the needs of area widows. Vaughn-Furlow said if widows just come to listen they will benefit.

“It restores that ‘I’m not crazy after all. I’m not losing my mind,’” she said.

Vaughn-Furlow said many don’t understand that losing a spouse is different from losing anyone else, even a parent or sibling.

“You feel like you’re a half person,” she said, citing the Bible verse about husband and wife becoming one.

Although widowers also struggle, the group is currently just open to widows. Vaughn-Furlow said that the main reason is because women tend to struggle with similar issues, while men are often struggling in different ways.

Vaughn-Furlow said any woman who has lost her husband is welcome to join the group regardless of denominational lines.