Comic stories get lost in translation

Published 8:29 pm Saturday, August 29, 2015

Bomb: 1 (noun) An explosive devise designed to cause extensive loss of life and monetary damages. 2 (geek / movies) yeah … pretty much that.

Everyone knew it was coming, but the equation of “Good Old Stories Make Good New Movies” has recently hit the skids.

We’ll start with the lease bomb of the bunch, Marvel’s “Ant-Man.” I know, I know. This movie is technically not a bomb, having pulled in almost $168 million at the box office, but by a summer Marvel movie standard, that’s pretty shy.

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Why the BOOM? Ant-Man’s story has had a strong under-following for years, but since Marvel Studios decided to make Tony Stark the inventor of Ultron, and Ant-Man a super-thief, Ant-Man lost a couple of his best selling points.

Fantastic 4 is a comic series about a family trying to help the world with super powers, and dealing with the lifestyle that comes from Super Stardom. In the comics, this has worked for decades (differently at times, but it worked.) Then Fox thought, “Hey! Here’s something that works. Let’s change it!” It’s like finding a butterfly and taking off its wings only to complain that it’s not pretty anymore and can’t fly.

The 2005 attempt at least got the family dynamic right. It failed on effects, but at least it was a fun ride. The 2007 “Rise of the Silver Surfer” tried to respark the fire, but, again, Fox thought they know best and changed too many things for fans to get behind it.

Then there’s 2015’s train wreck. This movie is bad. Not quite “House of the Dead” bad, but they’re close enough to exchange Christmas cards. It opened in more theaters than the originals and made half their box-office ($26 million.)

Are comic movies dead? Depends. Even Marvel’s worst attempt made money, while Fox’s best attempts lately smell of an Eddie Murphy original movie. Marvel is playing the long game patiently waiting for “Infinity Wars.” While Fox, on the other hand, is making a Fantastic Four sequel.

At least we have Deadpool, which the fans had to BASH FOX INTO MAKING!

Class dismissed.

Jason Reeves is a self-proclaimed geek tackling the biggest issues from video games to movies and everything in between.