It’s just not cool for dads to be cool

Published 5:00 am Monday, August 27, 2001

There is no denying it. I’ve accepted it. I could sense itsneaking up on me. I’m not cool anymore.

There were some little hints along the way . . . not recognizingany songs on the “hip” radio station, wearing colored socks withtennis shoes and actually wearing out in public the Hawaiian shirtmy wife gave to me as a “gag gift.”

I’m still a young man, only 29 years old, but I’ll never be coolagain. It’s not my fault though. It’s the natural evolution of afather. Once you have children you can’t be cool.

Subscribe to our free email newsletter

Get the latest news sent to your inbox

I’ve found the best way to deal with this realization is toaccept it. Don’t fight it, because that will only make thingsworse.

Over the past few weeks I’ve taken a look at myself, and I’mgoing to share with you what I found. I’m doing this as a favor tothe dads who are still clinging to the false sense that they’restill cool. Give it up!!

These are the top 10 signs that you are not cool. If you canrelate to more than a few of these things, then you are past thepoint of no return.

You know you’re no longer cool when . . .

10. You drive a mini-van.

9. Your favorite movie is the “Aristocats.”

8. Your favorite episode of “Blues Clues” is on.

7. You carry coupons for formula, diapers and baby wipes in yourwallet.

6. You no longer have trouble replacing the Diaper Genierefill.

5. You introduce your friends and say “and he’s a big boybecause he tee- tees in the potty”.

4. You reach in your pocket during a business meeting and pullout a pacifier.

3. You know that Dutch Apple Dessert and Blueberry Buckleactually taste good.

2. You use “fussy baby soap with chamomile” when there isnothing else in the shower.

1. It’s your time to be kinder-mom at your daughter’spreschool.

Now that you realize that you are no longer cool, let me tellyou that it’s really not that big of a deal. Find comfort knowingthat you aren’t the only one going through this.

What else would you be doing with your time? You wouldn’t behanging out at nightclubs, because you can’t stay up as late as youused to. You wouldn’t be lounging by the pool, because your stomachhangs out over your bathing suit more than it used to.

Should I be embarrassed or humiliated? I’m not, although Iregularly embarrass my wife. I’m too busy having fun. I’m justtrying to take advantage of the time I have right now with the onlytwo people who still think that I’m cool. (And they are two yearsold and six months old.) I know all too soon they won’t want tospend time with their daddy because everything else will be moreimportant.

Accept it. Enjoy it. You are a dad. You’ll never be cool anymore. . . except to your children — and to them you are thecoolest.

Write to DAILY LEADER Operations Manager John Chance at P.O.Box. 551, Brookhaven, Miss. 39602.