Simpl wurds movement simply not good for us

Published 5:00 am Monday, July 10, 2006

Yu no them kows from that chikin plac that tel yu to “Eat MorChikin?”

There’s a groop of peepl in th U.S. hu want us awl tu startspeling lik that. Thae want us tu uze simpl wurdz so we awl kanspel betr.

(According to an Associated Press report, supporters say kidswould learn English faster and the illiteracy rate would go down.Opponents of the simple word philosophy believe the new spellingsystem would make things more confusing.)

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Abowt using simplr wurds, awl we kan sae iz, “Itz abowttime!”

Don’t laff. Th simpl wurdz moovment goes back to peepl likAndrew Carnegie and Prezedent Theodore Roosevelt. Thae cuudn’t getit dun, but simpl wurd sooportrz ar stil trieng.

Sooportrz hav a poynt abowt peepl not beeing so ilit … elitr… well, not so dum. They’r rite becuz th rulz for beeng smartwuudn’t be as hi.

Of korse, ther wuud hav tu be agreemint between difrent parts ufth kuntry on som wurds becuz of th wae peeple tawk. Sum fella inMassashootsets mae not hear, pronownse and spel a wurd the same waeas a fella frum Boga Chitta.

That’s anuthur theng, maps and anetheng with a propr nam wuudhav to be changd. But what’s turneng th map wurld upside down whinwe’r helpeng peepl spel betr?

Finahle, big wurds – lik fonetix – wuud soon go awae becuz nowon wuud need them sents we’r uzeng mor simpl wurdz.

Tu mplemint th simpl wurds plan, awl we reale need tu du is havsumwon dvelop an ofishul wae to spel awl th simpl wurdz. We mae havmisspeld sum en this openyun.