Cruising for confusion at the drive-thru

Published 6:00 pm Sunday, August 15, 2010

One day at the drive-thru …

“Welcome to Bob’s Burger Barn. Don’t forget to try our Break ofDawn Combo. It’s great any time of day.”

“No, I want the No. 1 Bacon Burger Deal, NO cheese with extraketchup and absolutely no mayonnaise. Fries and Dr Pepper for thedrink.”

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“Thank you for choosing Bob’s Burger Barn. May I take yourorder?”

“I just gave you my order.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you. Could you repeat that?”

“I said, ‘I just gave you my order.’ When I pulled up and youasked about the Dawn Combo or something?”

“That was a recording, sir.”

“A what?”

“A recording.”

“So it didn’t get my order?”

“No, sir.”

“Then what purpose does it serve?”

“It’s to suggest certain menu items or highlight otherpromotions we’ve got going on.”

“Well it’s very confusing.”

“Yes, sir. The recorded greeting changes every time a new carpulls up.”

“I think y’all need to stop it.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll pass that along. May I take your order?”

“OK, I want the No. 1 Bacon Burger De-“

“You want cheese with that?”

“No, I want the deal with no cheese, extra ketchup and nomayonnaise. Fries and Dr Pepper.”

“What to drink?”

“Dr Pepper. Are you new?”

“Yes, sir. But how could you tell?”

“Just a lucky guess. What is a Break of Dawn Combo anyway?”

“It’s a sausage and egg sandwich with grits and orange juice.Would you like to try one?”

“Maybe next time. Y’all certainly are persistent with thepromotions.”

“Thank you. OK, then for today I have a No. 1 Bacon Burger Deal.No cheese or ketchup and extra mayonnaise.”

“No. It’s no mayonnaise and extra ketchup.”

“Sorry about that. Your total is $5.49. Please pull up to thewindow.”

A few moments later …

“Thank you, sir. Here’s your receipt. And don’t forget to callthe number on the back and you may win $750.”

“Has anybody ever actually won by calling that number?”

“I couldn’t say, sir. Could you please pull up to the yellowline and we’ll bring your food out to you.”

“What’s taking so long?”

“We’re waiting on your fries.”

“Did you not see they were running low a while ago? Couldn’t youstart cooking some more then?”

“That’s not my area. Could you please pull up? It won’t be but asecond.”

“Ohhh, all right.”

A few moments later …

“Well, I’ve got the receipt. I might as well try my luck.”

“Welcome to Bob’s Burger Barn telephone survey …”

“Great, another recording.”

“… On your next stop, don’t forget to try our Break of DawnCombo.”

“I wonder if I get me one of those, they’ll shut up aboutit.”

“Press 1 for English. Prensa dos para el espaƱol”

“Why the heck do I have to press 1 for English? …”

“We’re sorry, you are not a winner of $750 from Bob’s BurgerBarn. Try again next time.”

“Here’s your order, sir. Sorry for the wait. Thank you and havea nice day.”

“That sounds like a recording, too.”

That’s all for now.

Write to Matt Coleman at P.O. Box 551, Brookhaven MS 39602,or send e-mail to