Time: (noun) 1. the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present and future regarded as a whole. 2. (Whovian) a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey … stuff.

If I say “Doctor Who” and you immediately think Dr. Seuss, you’re in the wrong class. But if the same phrase elicits images of blue boxes, long scarves, colored coats, bow ties and angry eyebrows, welcome fellow Who-aphiles. This lesson is for you.

“Doctor Who” fans fall into two categories: those that think Christopher Eccleston was the first doctor, and those who are right. “Doctor Who” saw a great boom of support in 2005 with a new and reimagined Doctor played by Eccleston, but many of those new fans had no clue that 42 years prior, William Hartnell manned the TARDIS controls. This means that Eccleston is not the first, but the ninth actor to play the Doctor.

Until 2013, there had been 11 actors to hold the main title of Doctor: Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, then Eccleston, David Tennant and Matt Smith. I became a fan watching Baker’s fourth Doctor with his poofy hair, jelly baby addiction and ludicrously long scarf. It was nuts in a blue box, and I loved it.

Fans today only want the sexy, young, emotional Doctor they can cuddle with in fan fiction, and they got it, but in 2013 Smith left the show and the role was filled by Peter Capaldi, a 56 year old Scottish actor. What’s this? A 2,000 year old alien with … WRINKLES!?

Fan-girls exploded in rage! “He’s TOO OLD!” was their battle cry, to which I replied “GOOD!”

I love this Doctor. He reminds me a lot of Pertwee with his old wisdom and emotional detachment. He has a job, and he’s gonna do it.

And not a rubber sole, bow tie or fez to be seen.

Class dismissed, now … RUN!