When will we learn to leave well-enough alone

Published 10:24 am Friday, September 25, 2015

Well: 1 (noun) a container, usually a hole, used for storage and dispersal of a substance. 2 (geek) what Hollywood is going back to too many times if it’s already hit the 80s.

Who here remembers the 80s?

I was 2 years old when the 80s started, but I was 12 when it ended. Big hair, big boom boxes, break dancing, tight-rolled jeans, popped collars and sweat bands EVERYWHERE!

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Star Wars were technically a 70s movie, but Empire and Return came out in the early 80s and those are usually praised as the better of the series. George Lucas, hoping to move from fabulously wealthy to filthy stinking rich, made the prequels that will not be mentioned again in this article. Alas, yes, they too made money hand-over-Jar Jar.

Now Disney owns the franchise and is hoping that SEQUELS will bring in the big bucks and most people are agreeing. Tickets go on sale next week, and the movie doesn’t hit theaters until May of next year, but geeks everywhere are being advised to get their tickets NOW because next week, your town may be sold out.

Box-office projections for The Force Awakens is, conservatively $1 billion (with a B) and realistically at $2 billion. My prediction is that it will make all the money it wants to. Ever.

Given this degree of copious dollar hurling, other franchises from the 80’s are trying to rise up from their decade and invade this one, like some b-rate zombie flick.

Transformers movies are in full swing again, and, as if the first 4 were not enough, another 3 movies is planned. Plus a new animated movie and video game is also in the cards.

Get out your body oil and call Dolph Lundgren, because Masters of the Universe is trying to transform from the 80’s techno hit to modern blockbuster.

Thunder. Thunder. Thundercats. NOOOOOOO! Yeah even the Thundercats are pouncing for a big screen bite, along with GI Joe (again), Voltron, and basically my entire Saturday morning.

This well isn’t dry yet, but the water is starting to taste muddy.

Class dismissed.

Jason Reeves is a self-proclaimed geek tackling the biggest issues from video games to movies and everything in between.