Rat’s nest coffee is the worst

Published 12:41 am Thursday, December 1, 2016

Yeah, I know that sounds bad and what’s worse is the taste.

There is great coffee, decent coffee and bad coffee, but rat’s nest coffee is in a league of terrible all its own.

It is a blend of yucky and nasty.

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Having just celebrated Thanksgiving you should be thanking the Good Lord for escaping such injustice.

I had my first ever sip of a most unlikely cup of this not so desirable brew last week while at the deer camp in Texas.

It was the first morning of the hunt and before retiring for bed our host prepared the coffee pot for brewing.

The camp had not been used since last season and he had not thought to look over in the water basin to see if it was clean.

I would have probably done the same so he poured the full tank of water, placed the right amount of coffee in a filter and went to bed.

As is my custom I arose ahead of the other hunters to pour myself a cup after the coffee maker was turned on and offer up some quiet words of prayer in the dark.

I had remembered our host telling us just before falling asleep he had bought some Bolivian brand coffee just for the occasion so I went to sleep wondering what was the taste of an $87 bag of coffee.

I found out with the first gulp.

It tasted awful.

I figured it had to be my buzzard breath from first waking up, you know like a bird roost is what my mouth tastes like when my eyes pop open.

So, I took another swig only to be reaffirmed this Bolivian brew was not for me.

But, in as much as Joey our outfitter paid so much for it I continued sipping and moaning under my breath in dissent.

When Joey got on up after a few minutes to pour himself a cup, he turned the light on and saw the pot was partially filled and wondered what was obstructing the brewing.

When he began to examine the maker he discovered the water basin was half filled with sunflower seeds and grains of rice left over from the previous hunt last year.

Apparently the lid had been left up and some conservative rodent had stored its finds over in the coffee maker to old Bro. Mike’s dismay.

Thankfully for the other three men they never got to experience the yucky taste of rat’s nest coffee!

I still have the nasty taste in my mouth and that’s been four days ago.

As soon as I got through gagging, I poured myself a glass of milk and grabbed a honeybun to dilute and absorb what had entered my guts in hopes to prevent a break out of the black plague starting with me.

After all the ribbing and good natured joking tossed at me, the thought came to me that’s just the way this old flesh does us all.

We can’t be too careful and for sure take anything for granted when dealing with this old Adamic nature because it is forever and nonstop working to disrupt our God centered life.

Just when you think you have arrived at a permanent status some little file tail has been secretly behind the scenes storing its find and you wind up drinking some rat’s nest brew.

That’s why Apostle Paul said he had to die daily.

There is no easy way to die.

Most deaths are bloody and painful.

For sure, it is always grievous to the one leaving and those left behind.

You can’t trust this flesh.

Lying just under the surface is every despicable sin known to man and try as you might you can never be rid of all of it entirely.

You can be having the best day of your life with sunshine and roses everywhere when some fool up and says the wrong thing to you and out of nowhere…. BAM! You just up and spouted off, maybe even cussed.

Somebody asked me the other day, “Preacher, do you ever get mad enough to cuss?”

I said, “No, but I get the same feeling and want to.”

You can be singing “Amazing Grace” one minute and a wayward thought can wing its way up in your old noggin and there you go thinking unclean thoughts.


Because the fall in the garden still plagues us all and therefore we must daily die out to it.

The scripture said we should present our bodies daily as a living sacrifice (like animal sacrifices).

The only problem with a living sacrifice is it won’t stay on the altar but keeps crawling off.

So, as you head out on this your new morn fresh with no mistakes in it, please take the time to look over in the back of the coffee maker just in case.

At best, expect temptations to show up.

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as that first hunt in Texas, the day I was introduced to rat’s nest coffee.

God bless you and God bless America.

Happy Holidays.

Mike Dykes is a pastor and storyteller. He can be reached at angelsmannow@yahoo.com.